My Forrest

Thoughts of today....

I pass people on the street in the subway, well... I pass people all day actually (!!) One of those thoughts comes to mind, the thought of us dark private people up here in the north. You can say what you want, but at least we are honest?!? Well, doesn't a general grumpy face make a general grumpy inside! (??)

This disgusting man on the subway today. He was trying to make conversation, looking all over and "trying out" the woman across from him (this just after stuffing his face with food, topping it off with this nicotine thing (snus) you put under your upper lip, rinsing with his finger and probably getting a few already chewed bits and pieces on the poor ladies pants!). He expresses joy about the subway being quiet, doesn't she agree? Well, she can't just NOT answer him (she most probably is thinking?!). Instead she answers in the most grumpy, rejecting way I have ever heard (even out on the city getting rejected from Mr handsome!!). I have to say, it was kind of fun being an audience (how does people handle theese situations!). The man looks out, would probably have tried with a new approach, but the lady went of at the next stop!

Next, that's me! And I am set out not to be grumpy. But I just can't see myself in a nice conversation with this guy! He start of with asking where I am going, then wondering if I am a nurse (my stop has the same name as a hospital!), what I do, do I come from Oslo... Oh, well... he used to be a psychiatric patient, not anymore - both his therapists are dead, do I know them? The last one died of cancer in the uterus.... He had had two girlfriends, didn't get married though. That's to bad I say... Oh,no! it was a good thing! The first one was crazy and the second had three kids. It was just to much.. He made me laugh. It goes on, and he had so much to tell. I was smiling, people around were smiling (though - trying to keep some distance - not making eye contact!) This man, he had no box of chocolates, but he had a pure simple hart wanting to talk to anyone!

Deliberate I started out with my impression of this man. He disgusted me and I was thinking twice about sitting that close, I noticed people after me doing the same. After sitting with him for that short trip, just nodding (I did have to stop him asking to private questions at some point. Hehe, letting him know I usually didn't give that much info on a subway ride home. He smiled, think he got it ;)), answering some questions, maybe letting him get some of his social need out in the open.

In retrospect; What did it cost me? Why did I only see that what disgusted me about this man? (look away any evolution explanation, not looking for it. But can easily make up one for the sake of argument!)

In this short time I got one of the best trips home from work in a long time, just by acting with, and not being grumpy and rejecting. If it was the man or if it was my decision on the "attitude of the day". I do not know! My best guess is a little bit of this and a little bit of that =)

Sweet old man (63 he said, but never got his name), thanks for a good ride home today =D

For the moral: I think we all should stop and smile once in a while. And if someone puts in a word, why not answer with a smile? The trip home on the subway is seldom long, and people talking in a Norwegian train is probably only once a year anyway!!

The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.
John Cage (1912 - 1992)