Susann on tabloids and emotions

.....and then I go ahead and read the news. It all seams so meaningless. I have no understanding, there is not ONE inch of possibility for me to understand. How, as a parent, can you find that big nothing inside your soul concerning your child. That big empty that can make you take the life of your kid before your own! Yes, I can stretch my understanding to killing yourself; There is nothing worth living for, you feel less then nothing. No one can ever understand the pain inside you!
Can you ever imagine, can anyone ever imagine without living it, how bad it is possible to feel? There is such a great sadness that fills me, I just feel like hugging my child never wanting to read anything like this again!
My hart goes out to the family, the mother first of all in this case.. but there are probably so many many this is concerning! This just brings out all the stories I have read through the times, from little James Bulger to the kids in Baneheia here in Norway. (I'm not supplying links, trust me on the tears!).

I'm not sure why it bites extra on me today. I'm thinking it has to do with something I thought had little or no effect on me. When I started crying reading this just now, I think that means the former experience maybe put some marks on me I didn't expect: One of the patients at the place I am working died, leaving a small child behind. I didn't get to know him much as he moved out soon after I started, but I think it just is to close to home!
It makes me a bit sad to think this way; that I am maybe not crying for this poor child and his empty father. Maybe I am just crying for myself, and there is no empathy left for the one to many tragic story happening around the globe!

No words can ever help, but the most fitting and moving words I have listened to was in a funeral of a young friend that went to early. It is the words from a Norwegian song, they only played the instrumental in this funeral... but knowing the words..........
Because of the way I feel and the way these words move me, I will put the words here with all my thoughts:

(By Bjørn Eidsvåg)
Eg ser at du er trøtt,
men eg kan ikkje gå
alle skritta for deg.
Du må gå de sjøl.
Men eg ve gå de med deg.
Eg ve gå de med deg.

Eg ser du har det vondt,
Men eg kan ikkje grina alle
tårene for deg.
Du må grina de sjøl,
men eg ve grina med deg.
Eg ve grina med deg.

Eg ser du vil gi opp,
men eg kan ikkje leva
livet for deg.
Du må leva det sjøl,
Men eg ve leva med deg.
Eg ve leva med deg.

Eg ser at du er redd,
men eg kan ikkje gå i døden for deg.
Du må smaka han sjøl,
men eg gjør død til liv for deg,
eg gjør død til liv for deg.
Eg har gjort død til liv for deg.
Eg har gjort død til liv for deg