Review of "Himmelblomsttreets muligheter"

The English title of this would probably be something like; "The possibilities of the heavenlyflowertree" Not an easy translation, and sadly not translated to English from what I could find. The book is by Gert Nygårdshaug.

Why I finaly want to do a review is because this book really captured me. Without doubt, the best books I have read in long time.

One of the great things of this book is the way he writes. We start almost at the end, and I wondered about many thoughts of this man; "Jens Oder Flirum" or "Yenso". All of the strangeness I found in this man all came together as the story came together. Actually the first "book" (there are five "books", or main chapters) only became good after reaching into his past.

Jens Oder Flirum only reached into his soul after beeing put in jail for something he did not do, and here he turns forever. Sometimes I can feel the feelings of his intrapment, of the way he feels living but not living (his life before jail). But this man was made for something else. All the thoughts of this man conserning Europe, politics and the real truth in words are cathing.

This man turns to greatness and he gets the respect from the deep jungel to the high man in the big city. His life will never be anything but sad, but he always has the one thing he fights for... Looses track, but still never does!

What tops this book is the last words that I ofcource can't write for anyone planning to read the book...
It shows that no matter how big or small we all end up in the same thought or way. We are afraid, and no matter how you think you will still end up with theese words.

My first thought was only good and great... fantastic actually. And I start thinking about what the book tells me. We are going wrong, the path is leeding to destruction ... death!
The solution is in this book the same way as I have read in others. Back, back, back... Only if we go back to the basic, into the jungel, find the old values we had.
I wonder if I like this frame, it sounds ideal with all of the flowers, butterflies and peace of nature. Getting the true understanding and hearing it talk to you. But shouldn't oure mind be able to take what we have and build upon this instead of tearing it down first?

I still keep my thought of this book beeing great, the words spoken are right in any frame (many of them at least). But I would really love to see a book making something great from what we have, not from what we once had. Is it our fear for the unknown that keeps everyone going back to what they know (or think they know?!?)?

I think at least I am getting ready to grasp into the unknown... hmm, maybe =) Think the fears I have and the feeling of security I have may keep me back. How can I belive to be any different from the rest.....

Down memory lane

I decided to break down my Christmas a bit by going to the dentist today =) Emily was here with my mum, so since the visit to the dentist didn't take long (luckily) I decided to drive past the place I grew up to take a look. I haven't been on those parts for years and years....

To really bring me back I through on a cd with Iron Maiden a bit to loud, and drove past my childhood and youth. It didn't take long before I got to be 15 again and with the pain of the music I really enjoyed myself =)
Iron Maiden went on untill I got to an other place of memories by the ocean... The sun was hidden behind some clouds, just as much that the rays hits the water in some mystic foggy way (not easy to describe, but beautifull). By now I had found "flight of the bumblebee" and lots of new memories came back. I went out of the car to feel the wind and feel the smell of the ocean.
I stood there for the longest time, to long because when I got into the car I found out I must have been stone cold standing out there....

To return to myself I listened to sweet jazz on the way back =)

So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.
-Author Unknown-

Christmas is here

Looking outside at the rain and thinking of my childhood Christmas. At least there was snow. I so hope for some snow tomorrow to make it a perfect Christmas.
Getting a child brought so many good things in my life and one of those things was getting the Christmas spirit back. For so many years Christmas was lost for me and I missed everything from my childhood to bring it back. As with everything else that old feeling would not come back as it was, but it came back in a different form. For me it came back through my daughter Emily and with her happiness as true and simple as it is =)

I think that this should tell me something about many other aspects of my life. I think about the past in many ways and to often forget that those things are forever lost and will only come back if I remember that it will never be the same (hmmm, so it will not really be back =) ) And I need to embrace the new feelings and stop comparing it to the feelings of the past. Only then the feeling can come back in it's true form and I can also see that in many ways it is better.

Things like Christmas I never thought could come back because I new the childhood feeling was something only a child could truly feel. I was surprised when I discovered the joy and warmth I got through Emily...
It's still early in the day and she looks up on her Christmas calendar and counts only one package left, and say with stars in her eyes "is Christmas tomorrow?" (my most wonderfull, fantastic, lovely sweetie pie)

Looking back I see that this year has been really good(at least the last part) and I have put away many parts of my past. Finaly, my soul keeps screaming, hehe...
I know I can thank Emily for many things, but also I have been doing some alternative medicin thing that I also know have helped me. And finaly my boyfriend has played an important role. I can say that I love unconditionaly. (ofcource other people have played a role, all the small things are also important)
The thing that I keep asking myself is if I can give back as much as I have been given. I am a bit afraid that I have become a "take person" and that I'm loosing the give part. Ofcource I know that I give back to my daughter, but for the rest I do not know. I try, but is it enough compared to what I have recived?

There will always be a part of me that will wonder if anything and everything are wrong..... It is just a part of who I have become, wonder if that will also change some day soon?

And for our Christmas dinner tomorrow;

Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family...

Berke Breathed, Bloom Country Babylon

Finaly

All normal and I can post a message again, only problem is that I have not much to say today.... Christmas is wearing me down and my words have takan a holiday together with the rest of me =)

Maybe I will need a few moments with my blogg during Christmas.... always a few family things that pop up, hehe =)

They say that blood is thicker than water. Maybe that's why we battle our own with more energy and gusto than we would ever expend on strangers.
David Assael

The green room

I just discovered a way I need to go and I hope this feeling will keep. Hope it is not just a fling like I experience with many things. What I am talking of is the good feeling brought to me be a sertain group of people.... and I have also found a "gem" I want at almost any cost (Looks like it will be a while since the price was above what I have at this moment)
For most of the people I know and that reads my blog I know this is not your cup of tee, but I guess it is mine =)
The energy I can get from some crystals is amazing, and I could not really belive it could be the case. Before I went to this place today I was full of frustration and my hormones was driving me a bit over the edge, for what ever reason they choose to do exactly that! When leaving I was (am) filled with an amazing insight and a great feeling of beeing and I want nothing more than to share! Sadly it is to late and I have no one to call and outburst my feelings to... except ofcource my blog =)

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
Søren Kierkegaard (1813 - 1855)

Questions

I have a lot of them.... Anyone knowing me would not be surprised by this comment. But I sometimes wonder. Do they help me get to the place I want to go? If I end up with even more questions asking them then I get answers, are they good in any way? How many of my questions are really important?

In addition I have expectations. Big and huge expectations.... Is this fair? Why can't I expect sertain things and understandings from the people I love? Do I need to spell it all out, can I be a woman once in a while? Or has the equalities of gender just pushed us into this big pool of "you can not expect and want anything based on differences in gender"?
And what do I wish for? One moment I'm pushing the "we should all be the same" debate, and the next moment I turn around and want to be a woman in the "old fashion" way. But I want neither, I want something inbetween, to be recognized for both what I can acomplish and for beeing a woman.
Maybe it is to much to ask?

I think I ask to many wrong questions and I do not ask them to the right persons. It is not in me to answer them all by myself, at least not all of them!

For my expectations I think it is wise to keep them high for a while... Maybe it will teach me to reach higher and work harder. I do not think I work hard enough =( And for expectations I have towards the people I love... hmmm... I think I will keep that to. If I expect it for myself maybe it is not wrong to expect the same from others!

And if anyone wonder (just clarefying for anyone not getting the irony!!)... My last post was to scare anyone reading it! What is this? It is one of the most rediculous ideas I have come across for a long time! It even beats the Beating heart pillow and the talking toilet (witch be the way isn't that bad an idea)

Today we are afraid of simple words like goodness and mercy and kindness. We don't believe in the good old words because we don't believe in good old values anymore. And that's why the world is sick.
Lin Yutang

Hallo Kitty euros

In silver and gold =)

Just needed to share this one with all the Hallo Kitty fans out there.
Here are two of the new euros...


And you can see the rest here or here

Differences, man made or set by nature ?

After my last posting I had to check out Annalee Newitz assumptions for my self, starting with assumption nr two.
Are there realy no differences at all in how our brains work?
Are we all the same, men and woman?
I found this article on some research looking for differences using different tasks and mapping the brain activity with fMRI. It should be said that the they mention no reproducing the same answers and the control group was fairly smal (10 female\23 male). Just to say that it may not be the answer to everything.
In this study they had different tasks in memory, visual spatial, verbal and simple motor tasks and it actually showed different areas of brain activity for the same tasks for men and women.

It actually disputes my last posting, but does it?
I do think as every thing else we can train and teach ourself to do, we can also teach ourself patterns and ways of thinking, upto the point that our brain actually show different patterns in the same tasks. As she was also talking about; memes and myths.

For research purpeses in this area it would be interesting to see if there were differences in only female\male from different cultures. What I am thinking is f.eks women living in generations of the old fashion way of thinking about women (She should clean, take care of the children and husband, give her life two everyone but her self) and from women that has been living in more liberated countries (more equality between genders in the way of thinking). It may be premature since the last way of living hasn't been inprinted for as many genarations, but still... if there was a slightest diference it could prove a point!

In many areas the differences are getting weaker, will it also weaken this study? And for all the ways I actually want this to even out, will it all be for the better? Even as slowly as it goes, are everyone ready?
It's hard to know, but time will sertanly show us =)

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)